Internity

     In my first post I propose that the greeting "How are you?" is both an acknowledgement of separate egos but also a deeper and unconscious connection, personal and collective, attempting to break through to consciousness.  In my second post I stay with the idea of deeper connections and adhere to the philosophy that no one is born who isn't called first.  My third post is focused on the destructive behavior of zombies ( the effects of oppression, addiction, trauma and shame on potential, relationships, experiences and perceptions).  My most recent effort touches on how waking-up to the miraculous connectedness of it all (biology) and the ego's separation of it all (ideology) both demand a comprehensive evaluation of how Freedom and Responsibility mirror each other throughout one's nature, nurture and Spiritual Health.  In this post my claim is that every single aspect of "How I Am: Being Human" originates from and returns to one's Internity - the discoveries, expressions, connections and created meanings of life.
     My sense of Internity is based on this idea: All behavior is purposeful and internally motivated.  I throw this idea out there all the time (which, of course, is purposeful) and the usual responses run the gamut from "I totally agree" to "Well... um, all behavior?" or, "No way!  Why in the world...?  How do you explain...?" and so on and so forth.  The idea, however, isn't claiming that all purposeful behavior is well thought-out, or useful, or effective, or safe, or kind, or healthy, or awake, or even a function of ego-consciousness.  The claim is simply that the feelings/values and beliefs/thinking patterns of behavior are informed by the content of one's emotional core and though not always conscious, it is always purposeful.  And although the "internally motivated" part of the idea implies conscious choice it's obvious that the consciousness of "How I Am: Being Human" is sometimes inspired, sometimes routine, sometimes completely unexamined and sometimes reduced to instinct.  No matter how the idea is thought about by others (which, of course, is also purposeful), my conviction remains firm.  The discoveries, expressions, connections and meaning of all potential, relationships, experiences and perceptions, in every moment - the eternal NOW - are responded to with, and simultaneously created by, the internally motivated and purposeful behavior of one's Internity.
     The biological and psychological birth of one's Internity is pure potential, a dream-like calling filled with undifferentiated images, instinctual energies and powerful emotions.  As I've said before, simply holding a baby creates an awareness - personal and collective - of potential, relationships, experiences and perceptions.  (Those who don't dare hold a baby are also exhibiting internally motivated purposeful behavior.)  And because the conscious separations of ego are still only a seed of potential the baby is in a full participation (participation mystique) with the collective unconscious of "Being Human" (i.e., the psychological vibe within and without the baby).  The psychological birth of one's Internity began while still in the womb as a symbiotic union with the energies and emotions of the mother.  Once born into this world those energies and emotions take on a whole new dimension with the addition of sensory images as one's Internity begins it's struggle toward ego-consciousness.  The potential at this point is composed of unfathomable yet purposeful projections and introjections ("It's not what the eye sees, but what catches the eye that matters").   In essence, one's biology, psychological birth (ego) and the experience of being alive are set on a fateful trajectory with these first relationships, experiences and perceptions.  As time marches onward the Internity of the baby will grow into a complex of discoveries, expressions, connections and meaning (schemas), all revealed and reflected via the callings and conditionings of internally motivated purposeful behavior.
     To close-out this post I present the (corny) diagram below (I'm no graphic artist) to give some more specific ideas as they relate to Internity.  As you can see the emotional core is enveloped by these energies: To Have,To Feel, To Act, To Love, To Speak and Be Heard, To See and To Know (Yes, the Chakras).  In the beginning, most every healthy baby's Internity is impelled by the purely emotional survival energies of To Have, To Feel and To Act.  From this point onward the formation of the baby's physiological, psychological and sociological energies and emotions - healthy and unhealthy - relies almost entirely on how those first collective, yet still unconscious relationships, (ideally the mother, the father and the rest of the family), respond to the demands To Have, To Feel and To Act.  And even though the discoveries, expressions, connections and (primitive) meanings of the baby are unconscious and in a symbiotic union with all of the collective relationships, the whole process is nevertheless impelled toward the necessary awakening and conscious separations of ego.  The ego, "How I Am," then continues with the internally motivated purposeful behaviors of "Being Human" - the emotional core of Internity.

       

Waking Up To Miracles

     I'm certainly not a doctor so I won't attempt to speak to the physiological complexities of conception or birth.  Nonetheless, I am amazed how two people, out of billions of possibilities, and then (in most cases) one particular egg (out of how many?) and (in most cases) one specific sperm (Oi), join together to begin the creation of another completely individual story within the epic human story.  I mean, the conception seems so random and unlikely at the cellular level yet the birth seems specific, personally and collectively, to the needs and elements of the time.  Despite the complexities and my non-medical limitations, I'm going to claim that conception reflects biological mysteries while birth reveals mythological intentions and they both strike me as miraculous!
     [I can already hear the fundamentalists yelling, "Ah-hah!  So you do! believe life begins at conception.  You do! think abortion is the destruction of a human life.  You are! anti-abortion."  Hmm... this issue will never be that simple.  It is worth thinking about, however.  So, "Yes," I do believe life begins at conception.  But life began a few billion years ago (give or take) and at the cellular level alone has begun and ended more times than any of us could ever comprehend (and that's just human biology!).  Under those circumstances it's obvious that biological mysteries, always and everywhere, unalterably connect life to death, naturally transcending the distinctions of each.  And "Yes," I do think abortion is the intentional destruction of life.  But that reality must be comprehended with a full history of what can only be described as the biological and ideological destruction of billions of the already living.  So, from my perspective, the abortion debate is seeped in oppression and lost potential any way you look at it.  In other words, trying to defend the miracle of conception while simultaneously oppressing the miracles of life all around is spiritual ignorance.  And trying to defend the right to create and destroy life without understanding the unalterable connections between freedom and responsibility is also spiritual ignorance.  I trust, therefore, that if we were all willing to fearlessly examine biological and ideological oppression we would each begin to address the abortion issue much differently than "for or against."  Fundamentally, I'm protesting the whole debate until and unless it includes examination of how the issue is preceded by, and founded on, centuries of destroyed human potential.]
     Hmm...  I didn't set-out to write the second paragraph but the moment I finished the first one I got this image of a guy I know who is always using his religious beliefs to metaphorically punch me in the face.  If I mention how I believe people are miracles he gets this mean smile and insists that I answer whether I'm "for" or "against" abortion.  I refuse the debate based on the grounds that two men addressing this issue is complete and utter hypocrisy.  Besides, in his rigidity toward life he needs to start and "win" the debate in order to prove the righteousness of his faith.  And even though I try to practice empathy (a nonjudgmental effort to understand and care about another's experience) I too smile like a fist (Yes, I'm aware of my own hypocrisy).  I also know he has a history of childhood abuse.  From the beginning interpretations of his Potential were ideologically aborted by domestic violence which led to teenage withdrawal, manipulation and rebellion that included drugs, weapons and eventually time in prison for violent crimes.  Finding his personal salvation in a rigid belief system (i.e., attempting to organize the dissociations of his earlier traumas) is what he needs these days.  I wish him luck and hope his religion leads him to some healthy, loving relationships NOW! in this life.  But, because disagreeing with him might include some dire consequences, I have my doubts.  Nevertheless, I thank him for helping me wake-up to why I believe what I believe.
     Waking-up is what the "How I Am: Being Human" diagram (2nd post of May 18th) is all about.  Of the six "needs" and their corresponding health components I think truly waking-up starts with and finds its way back around to the "Freedom Needs/Spiritual Health" sphere.  As shown, the factors and influences immediately surrounding this sphere are Calling and Temperament; the other realities are Change, Potential and Mortality.  In the beginning most children have a natural grasp (no ideology) on these elements.  As we grow and experience the ideological conditioning of feelings and values, (nurturing?) the grasp on Potential begins to loosen, sometimes let go of completely, causing us to drearily fall into unexamined beliefs and conditioned behaviors (like zombies).  Essentially, throughout life, being human is continuously formed, conformed, deformed, informed and transformed by relationships, experiences and perceptions.  And it's all in relation to Potential and the "Freedom/Spiritual Health" sphere as they relate to one's current story, history, herstory and our collective story.  I think waking-up means to bring the unconscious material of the stories to consciousness and then taking full responsibility for "How I Am: Being Human" right NOW.  Life, after all, is about waking-up to one's Potential and "Freedom/Spiritual Health" while being in a conscious, meaningful relationship as, and with, a world full of miracles!

Zombies

     I was leaving for work yesterday just as NPR had some sort of "news" about surviving the attack of zombies.  It must not have been much more than a sarcastic quip (how else would NPR talk about zombies?) because by the time I got to my car they had moved on to some other story.  But that's when it hit me!  I'm talking about the same thing - zombies!  Except, now I understand that I'm trying to point out how the attack is already well under way!
     After all, according to Wikipedia, being a zombie means to be "a hypnotized person, bereft of consciousness and self-awareness yet ambulant and able to [react] to surrounding stimuli; mindless shambling; of low affect with a death-like trance and hostile to life; sometimes caused by a pandemic illness, breaking down civilization and resulting in flesh-eating, specifically brains."  How is this not a description of what's going-on in most public schools, fast food restaurants, work places and the American media!?!
     (Okay.  I might have leapt off the deep-end here but one of the mottos I subscribe to is, "If falling - dive.")  The "How I Am: Being Human" chart of my previous post would attempt to help a zombie by asking, "Do you know how what you're ingesting is affecting your moods?  What sort of exercise do you get besides shambling around town all night and day?  Just what is your sleep pattern?  Have you ever heard the word "ablutions?"  Does anyone know what you do for a living, or un-living, or...  What exactly do you do?  How would you describe being undead, or un-living, or whatever you call it?  And if it's really fulfilling why are you so insatiable?  What interests you?  Do you fully comprehend and understand why you want to hang-around with all those other zombies?  How does being a zombie contribute to your personal experience; your family's experience of you; your reputation in the community?  Do you realize how your emotions have gotten so stuffed that all you ever say is 'Mmmaahhrrgg?'  Where does choice and change fit in to being neither fully alive or completely dead?  If you hadn't chewed-off your fingers would you still play the piano?  Are creativity, freedom and personal responsibility even possible for zombies?  Is your zombie approach to life, eating brains in particular, a surrender, or avoidance or maybe an overcompensation for how desperate your thinking is?  Does this phrase, 'We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are' mean anything to you?  Is it possible that you're in fact the only zombie in the world and projecting your personal slime all over the place?  How safe is it for anyone living to be around you?  Would you please stop staring at my forehead?  Could I interest you in some macaroni and cheese?"  And so on and so forth.
     Unfortunately, the normalization (and resulting invisibility) of oppression, addiction, trauma and shame all contribute to the life/un-life of a zombie: lack of self-awareness, reacting to stimuli (instead of responding), carelessness and hostility toward others (and "otherness"), and general dis-ease and illness.  Maybe the influx of zombies into human consciousness (in the media and recklessly tail-gaiting you in a Suburban) is a metaphoric warning that "How I Am: Being Human" has been reduced to deadened emotional cores, superficial feelings and values, and rotting beliefs and thoughts about self and others.  I think the oppression of human potential, the pursuit of addictive relationships, the trauma of too many experiences and the resulting shame-filled perceptions (however "normal" they seem) are constantly being revealed in purposeful behavior that is best described as the mindless shambling of zombies.  And the attack is well under way.            

    

Being Human

     I've heard it said that a newborn human being is a blank slate, merely a bundle of cells, tissues, organs, systems, etc.  But how is that possible?  I mean, all one has to do is hold a baby and look into the eyes to sense there’s someone (and some ancient something else) in there.  Oftentimes the promise, positive or negative, within and without that little bundle is overwhelming for both the newborn and the holder of the newborn!  (Projection and introjection at work right away.)  That being so I now present the basic idea and premise for this blog - "How I Am: Being Human."  From the beginning until the end we each embody something - call it soul, instinct, character, spirit, energy, imagination, emotion, the history of the world, psyche, a daimon, Karma, temperament, an angel, Fate, genius, God, Allah, Yahweh, Buddha consciousness, the seed of ego, the collective unconscious, or whatever else you want to call it.  There are and have been, always and everywhere, thousands of concepts, symbols and names all attempting to describe that which is beyond concepts, symbols and names!  Therefore, I think the reality of the matter that constitutes a human being is, at the deepest center, pure potential "called" to be born within the story of being human.  And because we are each mysteriously "called" into this life we must arrive already embodying an original and destined relationship, thereby making the blank slate theory utterly impossible.
     Even though everyone embodies a deeper mystery that is ultimately beyond concepts, symbols and names those are still the only tools we have for understanding and relating the images of our personal and collective story.  So, I now present the symbol I've created to help conceptualize and name "How I Am: Being Human."  Yes, it is a mandala.  Yes, it's goal is self and SELF awareness through understanding all behavior as internally motivated and purposeful.  Yes, it's a map for discovery, expression, connection and finding meaning.  Yes, every element is connected to every other element and nothing can change in one element without affecting all the other elements.  Yes, it's a compilation of numerous ideas and open to many more.  Yes, it's designed to be individualized.  Yes, everything about it is intentional.  Yes, it's complex.  So, please take some time to look the diagram over and, if you wish, ask questions or tell me what you think.  Thanks.

How are you?

     I wonder how many times a day the question (or some version and language of the question), "How are you?" gets asked by us human beings?  I know I ask it a lot and it gets asked of me as well.  My observational guess is that my personal experience with "How are you?" can be multiplied a few billion times at least.
     I also wonder how many times the answer to this question is some version of "Fine.  How are you?"  Yet, I often observe in myself and others that the answer "Fine" rarely describes one's actual experience.  Which is fine because in most cases the person asking doesn't truly want to know how you are beyond "Fine" anyway.  It's obvious that on a superficial level, personally and collectively, all of this "How are you?  Fine.  How are you?" a few billion times a day is understood and agreed upon as a rhetorical question with the socially acceptable intention of egos passing-by as quickly as possible.
     Nonetheless, I suspect there's much more going on here than a careless greeting in the process of passing-by.  In fact (more about "fact" later) I am now compelled to think that human consciousness, ego, persona and the personal unconscious are constantly making an attempt to reconnect with others and otherness (the collective unconscious) on a deeper level via this simple greeting.  That being so, my claim in this blog is that the question, "How are you?" is ultimately the collective unconscious addressing the core of one's personal story - discovery, expression, connection and meaning - with the intention of awakening self-awareness.  I also claim that self-awareness and SELF-awareness are revealed and reflected through purposeful behavior in the context of otherness and the present moment.  And all purposeful behavior, conscious and unconscious, reveals and reflects one's current awareness of the potential, relationships, experiences and perceptions of being alive.  So, (obviously) I am convinced that the ubiquitous  question, "How are you?" demands an answer far beyond the careless reply of "Fine."
     Penultimately, who, what, why, where, when and every other inquiry pales in comparison to the examination of "How I Am."  This blog, therefore, will address the conscious and unconscious complexities and mysteries of "Being Human."  And to finish my initial posting I want to first present the personal and collective context that is, always and everywhere, shared by us all: biological birth - psychological birth - the experience of being alive - biological death - psychological remains.  Ultimately, what's presented from this point onward will be a collection of ideas (none of which are mine) that create a free-form dance of consciousness, challenges, choices and changes in answer to the deepest of all questions, "How are you?"